A Russian soldier was jumped by an overly aggressive Robotic Coke Machine early this morning. The Taman Division Serviceman said, "I put in a couple Rubles, and suddenly 4,000 pounds of leaping vending machine came at me...fortunately, I was able to leap backwards just in time and I did, in the end, get the soft drink."
The Coke machine and Russian soldier were both questioned by the authorities and the matter was dropped entirely. The Coca Cola machine has resumed its post and is still dispensing soft drinks at this time. No suspension was ordered by the vending company, as the soldier dropped the charges against it at the preliminary hearing.
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